


Indulgence

by WinryWeiss



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: (apparently I have more kinks than I like to admit), (on the other hand the author might regret some things but this is not one of them), Alternate Universe - Human, Crossdressing, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Impromptu Sex, Kinky, Lingerie, M/M, Mild Suicidal Thoughts, Mute Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Mute!Perry, Oral Sex, PWP, Past Child Abuse, Resolved Sexual Tension, Self-Esteem Issues, The Author Regrets Nothing, blowjob, but frankly this idea plagued me for like months, character with practically non-existent self-esteem (looking at you Dr. D.), handjob, human!Perry AU, kissing in the heat of a moment, making out in the heat of a moment, male in lingerie, not MML compliant, not MML compliant (mainly ‘cause I have yet to see the 2nd season), offhand mention of past child abuse, oh my what did I wrote, pre-"Doof 101", pre-"O.W.C.A. Files", pre-“Last Day of Summer” (season 4 finale), undernegotiated sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21603688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinryWeiss/pseuds/WinryWeiss
Summary: To indulge, to give in to temptation when everything else is overwhelming, on the verge of falling apart.It should hurt no one, right?And Heinz might have locked the front entrance, but he tends to forget that the glass sliding doors from his laboratory to the balcony remain open all the time, since O.W.C.A. refuses to pay another glazier bill. (Which was his nemesis fault, anyway!)ORPerry, quite by accident, stumbles upon Doof's secret not included in files O.W.C.A. acquired about his nemesis.And he's ...Well, to be honest, he's mesmerised.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 20
Kudos: 269





	Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grayce Adams (GrayceAdamsArchive)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayceAdamsArchive/gifts), [DoctorV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/gifts), [DesdemonaKaylose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesdemonaKaylose/gifts), [Kereea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/gifts), [RaitoBaker](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=RaitoBaker).



> So. …  
> Well, yeah. I might have, (very intentionally, mind you,) recently reawakened my barely dormant obsession with this special pairing, actually writing a piece of PWP that I feel confident enough about to actually post online.  
> Aaand I’m equally proud and terrified of what I’ve created.
> 
> Mind You, as English is not my first language, there might be some weird wording choices, grammar issues, or hard-to-understand sentences.  
> Unfortunately, not beta'd nor proof-read.
> 
> To all those great people in this fandom, whether they are still active or not, who formed my headcanon on human!Perry.

Truth be told, Perry Fletcher, codename Platypus, was restless.

Technically, he had no reason to be restless. He had finally managed to actually secure some free time out of his ever-accumulating vacation days to spend with his family. It felt nice, not being called to duty in the middle of his nephews’ physics-denying-and-reality-bending adventures, as his nemesis laid low for days.

Which was exactly the reason Perry felt restless.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz did nothing for over a week now. No deranged schemes, no confusing plans, no exploding inators, no ill-fated dates, nothing at all!

And that just …

_Just didn’t feel right._

Convincing O.W.C.A. to send him to check on doctor D. proved no challenge. He barely set foot to the headquarters and Carl, who despite being unpaid intern practically run the supposedly secret organization, immediately rushed him over to his nemesis.

So, he donned his fedora and his jetpack and headed to the publicly-known hideout of the man considered the most deranged in the whole Tri-State area.

The apartment at the top of the D.E.I. building was silent.

Which should not be odd, considering the lateness of the evening, but nevertheless it was, and unnervingly so, considering the flat owner. Heinz Doofenshmirtz could not keep his mouth shut had his life depend on it. He constantly prattled and chattered and talked to himself or to no one in particular, flailing his arms manically, he hummed or even sung just to never ever be silent.

Perry, with efficiency born from working for secret service, swiftly but carefully checked the workroom. Not finding anything beyond normal, besides a thin layer of dust on the clutter of tools, gadgets and disassembled pieces of machinery, he continued towards the living area of the apartment, not thinking twice before he opened the bedroom door and walked in.

Just to froze dead still in the doorframe.

Perry _knew_ what he was looking at.

It was _Heinz_.

It _has to be_ Heinz.

_And damn, he cut such a lovely lady._

Truth be told, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, self-proclaimed evil genius, was restless.

He would like to say that he does not have any particular reason to be restless. Beside his pubescent daughter, who considers him totally lame; his way-too-perfect brother, who was just elected the mayor of Danville third time in a row; and his (suave) nemesis, who persistently thwarts his exceedingly elaborate plans of world domination.

He would also like to have not as many issues as he has, the ones mentioned just the tip of the iceberg.

An iceberg that would likely rip Titanic in half, not merely torn open its broadside.

In conclusion, if he had to be honest to himself, which he rarely is, he has many, many reasons to be restless. And sometimes it just … accumulates, like a prickling beneath the skin, like a pain in his long-gone arms keeping him awake all night, or like an urge to scream own voice hoarse, just to drown out the threatening silence of the darkness.

It hurts no one, indulging a little.

As long as no one knows.

Because, as the old saying goes, nobody is perfect.

And Heinz Doofenshmirtz was far away from being nobody!

(And even further from perfect.)

So, he let the dust accumulate in his workroom, he even called to O.W.C.A. that he would like to take some time off, not feeling the zeal nor having the ideas to invent or scheme. Waiting and waiting until it was Charlene’s turn to look after their daughter for a weekend.

Then, late at night, he locked his empty flat, switched Norm to emergency mode and checked that he locked properly.

And then locked again for good measure.

In the solitude of his bedroom, he finally released the breath he had been holding.

Heinz methodically discarded his clothes piece by piece until he was standing there covered just by his briefs and his scars. Then he slowly, sensually even, dressed up.

First came nylon stockings, white as snow, with alluringly laced trimming, held up by a high-waisted, almost corset-like, garter belt. It made his shape even sharper, and, more importantly, it nicely formed his imperfect body.

Over it, a form-fitting, ankle-length dress with a high slit and no sleeves, made out of fine silk that seductively draped over his long, hard angles. The dress was of powder blue colour that matched his eyes.

He slid his arms into gloves, long and white and elegantly old school. He liked old school, the classical Broadway musicals, the catchy melodies with meaningful lyrics, the refined fashion, the courtesy!

He smoothened a wig over his unruly excuse of hair, tawdry blonde curls so yellow that not only the material itself but the colour as well seemed almost synthetic.

He sat down to a vanity table and pulled out a make-up set initially belonging to his daughter. Once Vanessa used up what she liked, the palette of black and smoky brown and pearly white eyeshadows along with the deep red lipstick, she had thrown the rest away. Heinz salvaged it furtively. Vanessa has the right to be anything she wants, anything Heinz could not, dared not, be. His little princess or gloomy Goth or whatever strikes her fancy! His daughter his only, most perfect accomplishment.

With sure hand used to tinker with tiniest components, he created thick eyelines accompanied by smoky blue eyeshadows, once again drawing inspiration from old Broadway. Using a concealer, he masked the dark circles underneath his eyes. Normally Heinz doesn’t bother with them at all, but when he makes himself pretty, he makes himself _pretty_.

Heinz just opened the lipstick, striking cherry-red colour, and started to apply it, when the door suddenly swung open. Startled, his hand jerked in surprise, leaving a smudge of red on his cheek, a deep gash, a mortal wound to his confidence. He froze in humiliation as his eyes met in the mirror with, _of all people, **his nemesis!**_

Shock.

Recognition.

Mortification.

All of this reflected in those expressive blue eyes, their owner paling to ghostly white and then, in an eerily rapid pace, reddened in sheer embarrassment. His mouth opened and closed few times, like a frantic piston. “W…wh…w… _OUT!_ ” he squealed, voice even higher than normal.

And Perry listened, perhaps just out of pure instinct, he threw his weight back and slammed the door shut.

In retrospect, he ought to knock.

Retrospect, Perry concluded, is rather blind and totally useless.

“Oookey?” sounded feebly through the transmitter in his ear.

Reality rushed back all at once, twisting his nerves into a knot. Because through the camera in his hat, everyone from the O.W.C.A.’s monitoring room had seen what he himself just witnessed.

Perry roamed his eyes all around the hallway, frantically looking for reflective surface through which he could sign. But before he found anything, Carl stated: “Erm, we seem to have some weird malfunction in your recording device, agent P. It’s not, eee, working properly? Like, no record since you entered the apartment, apparently. And, erm, no backup record as well. Odd, very odd, wouldn’t you say?” Carl laughed shortly and falsely. “You’d better stop by the technical department to have it checked. Aaand, since doctor D is not up to anything evil, you might as well call it a day. Good night, agent P!” blurted Carl hastily out and hurriedly disconnected.

Perry decided to spoil the young intern in each and every possible way from now on.

Nevertheless, it changed nothing of the fact that the sight of Heinz in _that getup_ was forever engraved deep in Perry’s mind.

O.W.C.A.’s very top agent took a deep, shaky breath, willing his cheeks to not to blush so bright. He settled his face to a neutral expression and embarked on the most important mission of his life: to settle this mess of a situation before it might be too late.

He _saw._

He _knows._

_His nemesis!_

His … his … his probably most normal relationship, all things considered.

And now Heinz destroyed it. Destroyed it, ‘cause who would want to have anything in common with such a freak he is? The urge to die, just to _die_ , was so strong, so desperate, that Heinz was physically unable to do anything at all for an eternity of time. Eyes fixated through the mirror on the place where Perry stood, he finally hid his face into shaking hands.

_Gottverdamnitalltohell!_

Not knowing what to do, what to say, but still hoping against all odds that all was not irrevocably damaged, he stood up to rush after Perry, to explain, to apologise, to do something, _anything, **everything**_.

He managed several shaky steps before the door opened and Perry resolutely walked back, an unreadable expression on his face.

Heinz stopped dead in his tracks, not even realising that he instinctively stepped back slightly, all the repressed memories from his childhood threatening to overcome him.

In times like these Perry downright hated his crippled vocal cords.

Heinz’ frightened expression combined with the defensive posture, hands raised in protection of his face, felt like a plunge into ice-cold water to Perry.

Without any other option, Perry spread his hands in a placatory gesture and waited.

Waited and prayed.

Then he slowly, with measured steps, came face to face with his unmoving nemesis. Gently, almost hesitantly, he grabbed Heinz’ hands, lowering them down with a soft pull, not gripping hard but allowing the man the freedom of movement had he wanted. Reaching up, he cautiously lifted Heinz’ downcast face.

Their eyes met.

Perry was unnerved by Heinz’ silence, by the guilty look on his face, by the shame that coloured his cheeks, by the glint of tears in his eyes. With hands placed onto Heinz' shoulders, he manoeuvred his nemesis back to the vanity and made him sit down with persistent pressure and a tap. Perry coaxed him into facing the mirror. He could tell that Heinz was confused, but the self-proclaimed evil scientist obliged obediently.

Catching the glimpse of the reflection of the pair of them, it occurred to Perry that they resembled vintage photography of a married couple.

Double checking that Heinz actually paid attention to what he was doing, Perry took off his fedora and tossed it away, unheeding of the direction and the place where it might land. This was not a time and place for their usual evil scientist and righteous agent routine, this was about their odd mutual acceptance.

He reached over, grabbing the bright red lipstick, a colour almost too vulgar for Heinz’ pale complexion. Perry would like to say that he knew next to nothing about make-up, but he had a pubescent niece, who could drone for hours about lipsticks and eyeshadows and mascaras and whatnots.

Therefore, Perry knew his share of this topic. And he intended to use that knowledge.

Opening the lipstick, he raised an eyebrow in silent pursuit of permission. 

His nemesis obliged him, as always.

Quite frankly, Heinz cannot remember a single occasion in which he had been able to deny Perry anything. His nemesis has a way with him like no other person ever, not even his daughter. He can play him like a musical instrument, Heinz all too eager to please, to be liked.

Perry gently grabbed him by the chin, tilting his face up to tenderly applied the lipstick.

Heinz licked his lips nervously, tasting the lipstick a bit. This subconscious reaction drove a deep, appreciating sound out of Perry. It startled Heinz, but it also made him curious.

So, he licked his lips again.

 _Whaaat_ , he claims he is an evil genius, not a genius in general!

Which means that he doesn’t necessarily think things through.

Perry was mesmerised. His eyes tracked the movement of Heinz’ tongue, darkening with desire.

Heinz’ breath hitched as he tried to say Perry’s name, voice stammering, so it came out as a breathy moan.

And Perry made a needy sound in the back of his throat, unthinkingly bending down to kiss his nemesis. Finally allowing himself to act on the weird tension between them, the never acknowledged attraction which plagued him from the moment he set his eyes on this intriguing madman for the first time.

It was not a gentle kiss, there was nothing chaste in it. It was hungry, almost desperate, filled with the need to taste, need to _have._

Heinz whimpered, the sound muffled by Perry’s own guttural moan. His hands gripped the waistcoat of his nemesis, hauling him closer, as he kissed and kissed and kissed, smearing the lipstick onto Perry’s lips and cheeks and throat.

Perry slid his hands down, relishing in the smooth slide of silk. He grabbed Heinz by the hips, those impossibly thin and sharp hips, and dragged him up and backwards, seating him on the vanity table, with back pressed to the mirror. He stepped between Heinz’ legs, forcing them to spread wide to accommodate him, to grant him access.

Down, down his hands continued, along the silk of the dress, the full softness of the thigh, the angular curve of the knee. Back up, encased between silk and nylon, slowly and sensually creeping upwards till they reached the lacing of the garters. His pupils widened in appreciation and his breath hitched as he sunk his fingers into Heinz’ thighs, hard enough to leave marks. He deepened the kiss, deepened the contact between them, roughly pressing his nemesis onto the mirror.

Not thinking, just wanting. More of touch. More of this. More of Heinz. More, _more, **more!**_

Perry stepped back a little, just a little, breathing heavily. His and Heinz’ breaths mingling in the almost non-existent space between their mouths, warm and laboured.

The rush of cold air where Perry’s warmth had been a mere second ago made Heinz whimper wantonly. A sound that made Perry weak in his knees. Unable to resist he dropped down, kneeling between Heinz’ spread legs, next to the toppled chair. He roughly pushed the skirt out of the way with one hand, the other idly caressing the garter. Kissing the pale bare skin of Heinz’ thigh, just above the creamy lace, he sunk his teeth into the yielding sinewy flesh.

Heinz _whined._

Perry replaced his teeth with his lips, transforming the claiming bite into a gentle caress. He mapped a trail of soft, almost chaste kisses alternating with wet, open-mouthed licks up and up and _up_ , until the tip of his nose trailed along the hard length of Heinz confined beneath the tight briefs.

“Per-ry,” whimpered his nemesis, as if hypnotized, as if caught in a spell. Unable to look away, _unwilling_ to stop, he tangled his fingers in Perry’s hair and _tugged._

Perry exhaled on his cock, making Heinz shudder. Forming eye contact with his nemesis, he licked, obscenely, ostentatiously, the sopping stain on the tip of it, before slowly slipping his fingers underneath and pulled the fabric aside, freeing Heinz’ cock, long and lean and longing for attention.

The mere thought he would be able to deny Perry anything ridiculous, Heinz spread his legs even wider, so much he could feel the slit of his dress ripping.

Perry hummed appreciatively. He licked his lips, then licked a long, slow stripe from balls up to the tip, ending it with a soft, gentle even, kiss on the cockhead. Trailing his fingertips lightly alongside the garter, he slid one hand behind to squeeze at Heinz’ ass, kneading and pulling, no doubt leaving finger-shaped bruises behind. He firmly gripped Heinz’ length with his other hand, maintaining the eye contact when he dragged the cock along his cheek, when he kissed the underside of it, when he opened his mouth and took the tip in, swiping his tongue around and lapping on the slit.

He let it slip out, along with Heinz’ moan, relishing in the obscenely loud noise that erupted out of his nemesis, the thud of Heinz’ head against the mirror, the whispering rustle of the wig sliding down. Heinz keened and whimpered and begged and cursed, in English, in German, in everything and anything between.

Perry took him in his mouth again, as far as he could, until he felt his throat straining around the length, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. Bobbing up and down experimentally he managed to fit in a little bit more, tenderly caressing the rest. Perry breathed through his nose and swallowed around Heinz. It rewarded him with a raspy moan and a delightfully forceful tug of his hair. Perry all but purred, the vibration of such act caused Heinz to untangle one hand in frantic search of a support of the edge of the table.

Perry slid the cock past his lips, smearing the saliva and precome on his chin, peppering its side with small kisses, smudging the mixture of fluids on his cheek. With nose buried in the crease of Heinz’ hip, he kissed the root lovingly, then messily licked his way back to the tip, taking Heinz once again into his mouth to suck on him like on a favourite lollipop.

It might have been that sight alone that tipped Heinz over the edge.

And Perry held still, breathing through his nose, the scent of sex almost overwhelming. He swallowed and licked and relished in the sound of Heinz’ pleasure, savouring the feeling of the trickle of come that escaped through the corner of his lips, dripping down his chin, dribbling onto his clothes. Perry himself still painfully, frustratingly hard.

He let the softened cock slip out of his mouth. Just sitting there and breathing, short, ragged gasps of breath, heart hammering in his chest, head resting against Heinz’ leg.

Heinz let him only for a moment, only to catch his own breath. He tugged at Perry’s hair insistently, dragging his nemesis up and into a mellow kiss which allowed him to lick into Perry’s mouth, to taste himself on Perry’s tongue. Heinz’ other hand slid from the table to Perry’s ass, circling his hips to squeeze the hard bulge straining against his pants.

His nemesis moaned into the kiss, bucking his hips towards Heinz' touch. Perry encased him in a tight embrace, one hand still squeezing his ass, the other fisted at the small of his back, wrinkling his dress.

Heinz deftly undid the trousers and slipped his fingers in, wrapping them around Perry’s cock. Caressing the slit with his thumb, he squeezed and tugged and petted, doing what he himself liked, what steals his breath away and drives him over the edge with certainty. He yanked at Perry’s hair, tilting his head back, granting himself access to nibble at his Adam’s apple.

It was enough to make Perry come with a whimper. Heinz kissed him through it, small soft bites to the hard line of Perry’s jaw.

With his head resting on Heinz’ shoulder and a fist crumpled in that blue dress, Perry was languidly coming back to his senses, oddly relaxed after giving a blowjob to his nemesis.

Ah, screw it, who was he kidding? He had just _blown_ his _friend!_

Sure, their relationship was definitely on the odd scale of the strangest things in the universe, but there was no denying.

Not anymore, not after _this._

Heinz still had one hand in his pants, the other tangled in his teal hair. Sitting on the vanity, legs hitched with Perry’s, he leaned with all his weight on his nemesis. His breath short, shuddering puffs, tickling Perry’s ear and moving several strands of hair back and forth. Perry was suddenly overcome with an urge to kiss him again, to kiss that impossible idiot, to cradle him in his arms and shush him until his frantically beating heart would slow down to a healthier rhythm.

And really, what was there to prevent him to do so?

O.W.C.A.’s relationship policy was quite benevolent. As long as it does not interfere with your job, anything goes, assuming it’s legal.

Perry kissed Heinz’ cheek, nudging his nemesis to look at him. He smiled sheepishly before he uncurled his fist to smoothen the crumpled dress, encasing his deranged scientist in a proper hug.

“Huh,” stated Heinz, shakily returning the embrace. “Your taste in men is absolutely terrible, Perry the Platypus.”

Perry snorted in amusement.

“Never mind,” concluded Heinz, tightening his grip to the point of almost painful, hiding his face in Perry’s hair, “we’re already a weird couple anyway, aren’t we?”

Perry hummed in agreement.

Weird couple indeed.

And Heinz doesn’t even know about the ongoing betting pool in O.W.C.A. whether they are already banging or not.


End file.
